To my #1 fan

Well my husband told me that he's a regular subscriber to my blog so I thought I'd include the picture I sent on our application for a foreign exchange student for the winter semester. I made quite the little portfolio with 24 pictures, from the house to the pets to the kids and of course us. So I will give our book to the coordinator tomorrow and hopefully we'll get someone to talk to shortly. I can't wait to get excited about the process and have a name so we know who to get ready for. I even think we'll save a Christmas gift for her since she should come right around NewYear's, maybe I could keep up the Christmas tree and lights and give her a little taste of Christmas. I can't wait for all the firsts, her reactions and things like that. Well I'll keep everyone posted, so far they have three on hold for us until the application goes through and we pass a back-ground check, then the application goes to her to see if she'd like to have us. I can hardly wait.

This was a fun day...

Here was a picture of one of those fun days, the kids found this huge caterpillar/tomato worm in the driveway after our softball tournament.

Today we joined our friends at their church today, shared lunch with them and their friends and had a wonderful time. Both of the families that we had lunch with have foreign exchange students and I'm interested in trying the same thing. I asked my husband about it tonight and he's supportive but doesn't really understand my reasons. Well it's really rather simple, I'm alone here and need something to do, something worthwhile, something with meaning and purpose, something that will be remembered, and I've always wanted to adopt but that's not an option yet, so this is the next best thing to trying out new energy in the house. I'm afraid of doing foster care because of all the horror stories, and being a foster kid myself, it's not the greatest way to come into a family (the us and them thing doesn't work for me).

So I took a look at the web site and I think a girl from Germany would be a good fit for us. Not too crazy of a culture shock and our family has some German roots on both sides. I have some favorites and I think it would be cool to try this out from January till June or the equivalent of a semester, at least as a first time.

There's a part of me that is really excited, especially if this were to happen. And having a little time to mentally prepare the kids is great too. Cleaning the rooms, decluttering the extra stuff, and teaching them our family does these things together, I even want them in the selection process. So hopefully this blog will be a bit more optimistic, as things are looking up. One of my favorite sayings as of late has been, "It's hard seeing the forest from the trees." And it has been harder but I think I'm over the hump now. It's okay to see what you're made of from time to time, it's the only way to realize how good you have it sometimes. And I do have it pretty good.

Here are the pictures of the entry way

Now I finally got a couple of pictures loaded, also included are pictures of my Adrienne. On this day she was home form school but starting to perk up when we took these pictures.

It's finally done...

I hate computers and I'm having a Hell of a time trying to load a picture of the entry way I've finally have finished. I'm sorry I'm not computer savy, I don't know how these teenagers do it, personally this kind of thing bores me. I struggle to find something to write about, either that, or my life is really that boring. My Adrienne has been home sick today from school, tomorrow don't look too promising either but she has kept up her homework. I don't think she wants to fall behind but her head and her stomach are not cooperating with her.

Just a personal note... After watching the crisis our country is going through, I've decided to get it together over my/our finances. I want to do better, pay off more debt faster and learn to live with less. It's something I need to finally take seriously, especially if our country has no promise for a secure future, it makes you think when banks can't lend money and we as the consumers can't pay it back. It makes you want to depend on no one, just a thought. So I've got a plan at least, to plan ahead what I may spend and then stick to it, or go with less somewhere else. It's a little notebook I plan to carry in my purse and everytime I spend, I mark it off where I've budgeted it in. So I'll let ya all know how my first two weeks go, it should be interesting. So much for a picture, I can't get one to load tonight, maybe later.

Well I tried to upload a video instead, ok, we'll see what happens. No such luck, I hate technology!!!!!

Well after last Sunday, this one is showing some light at the end of the tunnel. But after you tell a church you're leaving to be with your husband, all of a sudden everyone wants an explanation.

But this isn't really the place for all the gory details, so on to lighter news. The picture above is the wallpaper border I ordered this last week for my kitchen and the wallpaper is colorful wine labels that will be above it. I bought a bakers rack this weekend but didn't take the before picture, now I'm kicking myself, so lesson learned. I''ve been cleaning out closets, put a couple of things on e-bay, and have boxes ready for the sheltered workshop. So right now, the house is a bunch of piles waiting to be gone through. So that's the boring details but I'm actually loving it, doing something for myself, some internal and external cleaning up. Yes, it's very nice....

Deep breath, all over...

Well tonight was interesting for me, I let go of the ministries I was in church and let members of the church know that I was making preparations to be with Jim as soon as we can make arrangements. Personally I haven't felt supported much while Jim has taken on this job, he's been gone since December and no one from the church family has offered anything, a call, a card, an offer to do something for ya, a sitter break, lawn mowing, snow removal, all this seemed it would be taken care of for me. Many shoke my husband's hand and said they would take care of us in his absence and no one from the church has yet to offer anything.

On the other hand, we have some personal friends from another church, he just happens to be a pastor, and their family is just awesome. They call, check in, we do dinner together sometimes, play cards, and share openly what we're going through on any given day. Thank God for them and my Uncle Bob. Otherwise I could be a bawling basketcase.

So the relief comes from saying No back to them. Sorry I'm not available anymore, my kids need me more and my service to this church seems to be dwindling for me. Trust me, I've been in just about everything, from the church kitchen, funeral dinners, sound board, prayer chain, WMI, quilting with the little ol" ladies, Bible studies, drama skits and now the answer is going to be "NO" for a while. I'm just hurting and I don't feel there is anyone to share with or lean on in my own church.

I'm even starting to feel bitter about tithing, cause I'm putting my money towards something that I'm having a hard time believing in. I'm feeling a move in my future but I'm not real excited about starting all over. There are some really great people who I would miss very much and others I wouldn't give much another thought.

So sorry this seems so bitter, but I've been holding this in for a long time and tonight I was able to shed the weight of letting some of it go, I can take a deep breath now, and let go...

First week kids back to school

It's been kind of a long emotional week, the kids had their first week of school and they are very please with their teacher. Their comment on Friday was, "She actually likes us!" which is a lot compared to last year's teacher. All my kids even hugged her Friday, so I'd say they are on the right track.

As far as me, this living without the hubby stuff has its low points, especially when you have no one to share the little things. For example, I picked out paint colors, wall paper and border and I think I have a plan to finally conquer the kitchen. I have had no vision for this room for the last 2 years, it seems its the only house in the room that never even got looked at, much less redecorated when we moved in 2 years ago. Trust me, this is a big deal, there has been no paint on the cupboard doors, the doors have been striped but not repainted, the ceiling, stucko, but no paint, it's really a rather pathetic room. I have always like the fat Italin Chef thing, and I got curtains in there I love and a few cute pieces, now I have the rest, now I just gotta do it. And the bitter sweet part is that we finally have the money to do these little projects, just not together. He doesn't even know what I picked out or what colors are going in there, it'll all be a shock come his next visit. When we talk on the phone, I can tell him I'm painting, but it's not the same as sharing that transition experience together.

Well either way, I may have to post some before and after pictures here as this project may take me most of the winter, every piece of wall and ceiling need to be painted, including new lights.

I got into this painting mood all over a bench I bought at a local flea market I frequent almost every Friday. Well today I finished painting my entry way, which has taken me almost 6 months. Then I painted this bench and a shelf I bought to go into there, now I have to finish the wall paper and it will look AWESOME, I love how the bench turned out. Will have to take a picture and post it.

Then I wrote my Society Meeting notes for church tomorrow, so I can excuse myself from all the ministries I'm serving in so I can get this house ready for a renter or for a market to sell so I can be with my hubby, I'd hope to say within a year, depending on what the Lord has planned. Lord knows I'm not going to last much longer, we've been doing this long distance thing since December 7, 2007.

So tomorrow is church and maybe some more painting, I'm on a roll. Ha Ha