Well tonight was interesting for me, I let go of the ministries I was in church and let members of the church know that I was making preparations to be with Jim as soon as we can make arrangements. Personally I haven't felt supported much while Jim has taken on this job, he's been gone since December and no one from the church family has offered anything, a call, a card, an offer to do something for ya, a sitter break, lawn mowing, snow removal, all this seemed it would be taken care of for me. Many shoke my husband's hand and said they would take care of us in his absence and no one from the church has yet to offer anything.
On the other hand, we have some personal friends from another church, he just happens to be a pastor, and their family is just awesome. They call, check in, we do dinner together sometimes, play cards, and share openly what we're going through on any given day. Thank God for them and my Uncle Bob. Otherwise I could be a bawling basketcase.
So the relief comes from saying No back to them. Sorry I'm not available anymore, my kids need me more and my service to this church seems to be dwindling for me. Trust me, I've been in just about everything, from the church kitchen, funeral dinners, sound board, prayer chain, WMI, quilting with the little ol" ladies, Bible studies, drama skits and now the answer is going to be "NO" for a while. I'm just hurting and I don't feel there is anyone to share with or lean on in my own church.
I'm even starting to feel bitter about tithing, cause I'm putting my money towards something that I'm having a hard time believing in. I'm feeling a move in my future but I'm not real excited about starting all over. There are some really great people who I would miss very much and others I wouldn't give much another thought.
So sorry this seems so bitter, but I've been holding this in for a long time and tonight I was able to shed the weight of letting some of it go, I can take a deep breath now, and let go...
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2 comments:
I'm sorry they haven't been there for you.
Just remember, you're giving the tithe for God, not for the people of that church. And He will be faithful even when they fail you.
Hang in there, chica. I know it's hard. Loren moved to MN before the rest of us, and it was only the grace of God that saw us through that time.
understand the feeling part of the reason we left the old church, but we need to remember they are human and subjuct to failure. Keep your chin up and be strong, God is there for yu as are your real friends.
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